Lily is Locked
by wordwitch
Summary: Ch 4: 'Padfoot, when you said you would get Lily into a broom closet with me, I was somewhat counting on the fact that she would be conscious...' A collection of one shots, all involving Lily and James being locked in broom closets... Humor is inevitable
1. Chapter 1

Hey, minions! Just another one shot... Please review so I know whether or not to write more or continue my hobby of throwing old people off cliffs.

* * *

Lily had five minutes to get to Potions, and she was locked in a closet.

Not just any closet. A BROOM closet. That's what she got for doing some spur-of-the-moment patrolling during lunch. She had caught three couples in broom closets and had promptly taken away house points.

But Sirius Black -Oh! She could kill him!- had said that if he was really going to lose twenty house points that he might as well have some fun.

So he had shoved her in a broom closet with James.

Had she forgotten to mention that last prepositional phrase? _With James_

There. She had said it again. And it still made her situation no better than it had been before.

Here she was, about to miss Potions, and the hottest, most annoying prat in seventh year was eyeing her from inside a broom closet.

She was head girl, for Merlin's sake!

Sirius's voice was heard from outside. "If you snog him, I'll let you out!"

Lily looked over at James. He grinned.

She knew he would find this amusing. Egoistical little prat. He raised his arms up to ruffle his hair which she insanely hated because it showed how infernally annoying he was and-

My, he had broad shoulders.

But she wouldn't think about his shoulders or the fact that he was scooting closer to her little by little or that his breath smelled like some sort of mint when he leaned over to her and said, "So, Evans, what do you say?"

Instead, she would think about how she was missing the lesson on Veritaserum, and that that would cost her on her midterm essay.

Siruis pounded on the door. "Is anything happening in there?"

"If anything was happening, you would hear her moaning!" yelled back James.

"You pervert!" she hissed, punching him in the shoulder. (Stop thinking like that! She, er, did not just want an excuse to touch him!) "What, have you pictured this entire scene?"

James opened his mouth to say something.

"Nevermind, Potter. I don't want to know."

He smirked. "Admit it, Evans. You're attracted to me."

"I don't- I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come off it. You know you want me."

"All I know is that I am missing the Potions lesson on Veritaserum. VERITASERUM, JAMES! That's a bloody important lesson to be missing."

He gave her an odd look.

"You called me James."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

They heard a muffled whispering from outside the door. "Moony, write it down in the Lily Journal! Day 1025: She calls him James."

Lily pretended not to hear that comment. Instead, she focused on her spell.

"Incendio!"

Or that would have been what she said if James hadn't stepped on her toe.

"Incendi-OUCH!"

Lily hopped around on one foot while James danced around, because his hair was on fire.

Lily would have laughed if she wasn't in so much pain, because James had started rubbing his head against the wall to extinguish the flame.

Unfortunately, broom closets are not large. In Lily's hopping she had crashed into James who had crashed into the wall. The result was that they both ended up lying on the ground, Lily on top of James.

Lily lay there for a minute, enjoying the feeling of his heart beating, until...

"Don't move," James muttered. "I like you there."

She shot up with the speed of a hippogriff. (Contrary to popular belief, my minions, they are pretty fast...)

She glared at him. Or she tried to. It turned into more of a stare.

"Sirius, it is almost the end of Potions... We are going to start eating into Herbology if this doesn't cease." Remus said, sounding oddly muffled as he was being heard through a door.

James looked imploringly at Lily. "Can we PLEASE get this over with?"

"Why? You hate Herbology."

"I know. I just want to snog you..."

She made a sound of disgust, but was somehow flattered.

"Look, I know you don't like me, but couldn't we just-"

**

* * *

**

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, Moony?"

"Just open the bloody door before they kill each other."

"Fine."

Sirius threw open the door where he saw Lily, who was obviously looking for her wand so she could open the door.

I mean, everyone looks for their wand behind the Head Boy's tonsils, right?


	2. Chapter 2

You know, it's awfully fun locking up Lily.

I think I'll do it again...

* * *

Lily didn't know where she was, she didn't know how she got there, and she didn't know the guy who was currently smashing his lips against hers.

The last thing she remembered, actually, was sitting in the Great Hall at dinner when Sirius said she simply HAD to try the new punch when-

Bugger. He drugged her drink.

And she, Lily, who had the second-best marks in the entire sixth year (second only to Remus), had fallen for it.

Suddenly, she realized that she should be enjoying the snog session instead of plotting the murder of Sirius. So what if her drink had been drugged? There was an absolutely gorgeous guy right in front of her who would get in 'E' if snogging were an OWL, and here she was, complaining about Sirius.

Well, she reasoned, she could always multi-task and snog at the same time. Girls were good at that.

She observed that she was practically in the nameless guy's lap, and he ran his fingers through her flaming red hair eagerly, while his lips ran over hers provocatively.

She could put poison in his drink, she thought. Or she could always-

"Mmmm," she moaned, and her tongue went deeper into his mouth.

-catch him in the hallway and hex him, or-

He put her hand over his heart, to show her that it was thudding unnaturally loudly.

-simply lock him up in a mental institution, loads would take him in.

She suddenly found herself kissing him as hard as he was kissing her, and his lips parted, giving her entrance.

Or she could easily tackle him to the ground, but-

She drew back in his arms slightly, looking at him in amazement before he pulled her back for another long, drawn out kiss.

(Lily noted here that it was getting more difficult to multi-task)

-Sirius had muscles that Lily didn't, all that bloody Quidditch, so that might not-

His lips were impossibly soft.

-work, but then again-

Her breathing was coming in short little gasps, and she realized with a start that his was, too.

-she could always just-

His tongue traced the outline of her mouth, and she shivered in delight, as he moaned, "Oh, Lily..."

Wait one bloody second of Merlin...

That voice... Where had she heard it before?

With a dawning realization, she realized who this was. This was James Potter, the terror of her years at Hogwarts, the bane of her existence, the only person she had ever hurt intentionally-

He pulled her back for another kiss, grinning.

-and the best snogger around.

You know, she thought. She could kill Sirius...

Or she could send him a box of Chocolate Frogs.

* * *

So yeah, please review... haha I love all of my readers. 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm on a Harry Potter kick right now after reading the seventh book, so forgive me if you're used to me writing Pirates stuff. Check out my new oneshot, too- As Real as a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. It's a Dean/Luna.**

* * *

Most girls, thought Lily, worried about about big, red blemishes on their faces, but my face is clear and blemish-free.

Most girls, thought Lily, worried about the big seventh year with flaming red hair named Spencer Tarpy and whether or not he was looking at them.

Most girls, thought Lily, did not worry about big, red DREADFULs on their charms essays, especially when they were normally talented at charms.

As she rushed down the third floor corridor, she remembered the notice she had posted just yesterday (Friday) in the Common Room- _Talented Charms tutor needed. Please contact Lily Evans if interested._

The first notice, for some reason, had mysteriously disappeared within the hour, but she had merely groaned and replaced it, blaming Peeves or some other pest. When she had risen at her usual ungodly hour this morning, she had seen a note on her door in scrawling script: _Lily Evans, _it read,_ I am definitely interested. Meet me in the third floor corridor tonight after dinner._

She had found the wording slightly odd, of course, but here she was, rushing down the third floor corridor after dinner because she was slightly late and had no idea where exactly she was supposed to be.

She had realized earlier in the day that her tutor hadn't left a name. She knew it was dreadful of her as a prefect to dislike someone of her own house, but she hoped it wasn't that prat Sirius Black.

Lily hoped it would be Remus, but she had to admit that the hastily penned note did not resemble Remus's slow, careful script in the slightest.

Maybe, she thought, it wasn't a Gryffindor at all, but instead someone who had-

"Why, Lily Evans," drawled James. "It's about time you decided to show up."

Lily couldn't believe her eyes. "James Potter? YOU are my tutor?"

"There's really no one better, darlin'."

"Don't call me that," she snapped automatically. "Well, let's get to it, then."

"Ladies first," he said, pointing to a half-open door behind him.

Lily walked in suspiciously before crying out, "Potter, this is a broom closet!"

"Of course it is!" James was genuinely surprised. "Where'd you think I'd tutor you?"

"Oh, I dunno," she said sarcastically. "Maybe in the empty Charms classroom?"

"Wait... You need a _Charms_ tutor?" he asked, stressing the word carefully.

"That would be what the notice said, yes."

He muttered something that sounded like "Padfoot DIES" before explaining, "See, Sirius told me that you needed a charming tutor, not a _Charms_ tutor."

Lily was disgusted. "You thought you were tutoring me in _snogging_?"

"Yeah, I found it odd, myself. Why would someone as talented as _you_ need a tutor?"

"_Talented_?" she sputtered. "But Potter, I've never kissed you!"

"Remember the masked Halloween ball? Remember the stranger in the long cloak?" He smiled smugly at Lily's weak "Oh!" and pressed on.

"Well, if it's Charms help you're needing, I can help you there, too, you know."

Lily made for the door, but James taunted, "Exaaaaaams..."

"Fine, I'll stay." Lily mustered the remains of her dignity and sat cross-legged on the ground.

"The first thing you need to know about Charms," began James in an oddly professional voice that didn't suit him, "is that there are four rules, properties or guidelines if you will." He sat down across from her and couldn't help but notice that in this small space, it made their knees touch.

She wondered why she hadn't heard of any of this before.

"The first rule is that your spells should impress people. They should _dazzle_ them, leave them slightly breathless."

James marveled at Lily. Blimey, she had taken out parchment and a quill to take notes!

"An example of something dazzling?"

He leaned forward and kissed her, being careful not to knock over the ink bottle.

She blinked, surprised, and he continued on. "So, the first property of charms- aim to dazzle."

Lily was quite dazzled indeed.

"The second property is, of course, what you say. None of it- the magic, the time spent, or anything else- means anything unless you yell the correct incantation. Or, in this case, apology. Lily, I'm sorry I've been such a prat over the last few years."

She nodded slowly, her eyes still trained on him, and he continued. "The third property of charms is that you can cast them in different ways. The fourth-"

"Wait, different ways?"

"Yes. See, some can be slow." He leaned forward ever so slowly, pausing to look at her before gently rubbing her lips with his. It seemed like an eternity before he pulled away.

Lily's heart was pounding.

"And some can be fast." His lips met hers again with surprising intensity, and he raked his hands through her hair greedily before pulling away briefly. He kissed her again and again, faster and faster, until Lily was glad she was sitting because otherwise she was afraid she would have fallen over in a heap.

"Well?" asked James, grinning. "Have we learned enough from today's lesson?"

"You forgot to mention the fourth property," said Lily, checking her notes.

"Oh. I hadn't thought that far."

"I think I know," she said, smiling, and James could swear it was seductively.

"The fourth rule is that practice makes an effective charmer. And," she continued brazenly, "I'm going to needs lots of practice to get my grade up."

"Why Miss Evans, I almost thought for a second that that was an invitation."

"Maybe it was," she said, and then he found himself kissing her once more.

* * *

_Miss Evans-_

_I would like to congratulate you on your renewed effort to learn Charms. Your grades are much improved, and it is obvious that you are working hard and practicing at every opportunity. Ten points to Gryffindor!_

_I had heard that you are using a new tutor- Do you have his name? I would like to recommend him to Mr. Pettigrew. Maybe he can also inspire young Peter to practice as frequently as you do._

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Flitwick_

* * *

**Show me some love, dear readers. I already have the idea for the next chapter, but I think I'm going to update my Pirates fic first and then this one...**

**I dunno, though, I might want a break because these chapters are a lot easier to write than my other fics are.**..

**Just review and we'll see!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am a very patient person, but please, if you have the time to add my story to your favorites list and story alert list, can you at least tell me _why_ you liked it? haha**

* * *

Lily was chatting amiably with her friend Melanie Greyloy on her way to Potions. "Yeah," she agreed, "he really shouldn't have slapped you back." 

Melanie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe the nerve of Sirius Black! In the first place, he shouldn't have been cheating on me. But in the second place, when I caught him making out with what's-her-name and slapped him, he had abso-bloody-lutely no right... No right at all!"

The girls shook their heads, contemplating the stupidity of some guys.

"You know, we're going to be late to Potions if we don't hurry, Melanie."

"Yeah, you're right. Why don't we take the shortcut down-" Melanie saw something reaching out from under a door and tried to warn her friend. "Wait, Lily, watch out for the-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lily screamed as a hand grabbed her ankle, tripping her and causing her to land heavily onto her other ankle. She heard a _snap!_ and saw an explosion of stars and then nothing.

Nothing at all.

* * *

"Ugh," she moaned, as she regained consciousness. As it was very dark, Lily didn't know where she was, but the space seemed to be incredibly small. 

The world slid in and out of focus, but she could tell that that there were two other people in the room.

"Padfoot," growled a familiar voice, "when you said you would get Lily into a broom closet with me, I was somewhat counting on the fact that she would be conscious."

"But mate," said Sirius, clapping the speaker on the back, "it's so much more fun when they're _un_conscious!"

Lily snorted in disgust but was unheard by her two companions. The first speaker, whom Lily suspected now to be James Potter, laughed and said, "I think you better solve your little problem outside. _She's_ definitely awake and enjoying life."

The series of small thumps that Lily had taken to be coming from the nearby Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom grew louder and she heard Melanie's voice. "POTTER AND BLACK!" she bellowed, "LET LILY OUT OF THERE! I'M GOING TO YELL 'RAPE' IN FIVE SECONDS! FIVE... FOUR..."

She saw Sirius stand up, and though she could not see his expression, she imagined him to be grinning. "Good luck, Prongs. I'm out." And he left them, shutting the door with a bang.

"Git," sighed Potter, and he took out his wand, muttering, "Lumos," and cast them into better light.

Lily struggled to sit up, causing James to start. "What?" asked Lily coldly.

"I just- just didn't know you were-"

"Alive? Conscious? In excruciating pain? Take your pick, Potter."

He winced. "I didn't know Sirius was planning on tripping you, Lily."

"That's _Evans_, Potter. We are most certainly _not_ on first name terms."

"Fine, Lily, fine."

She glared but didn't pursue the matter. "So what's your plan for getting me to the Hospital Wing?"

James sidled closer. "Well, actually, I was thinking that since you and I are in this lovely broom closet together already, we should-"

She kicked him with her good leg.

"-enchant the brooms and fly there," he finished weakly.

"If that's what you were planning on saying, Potter, I'll eat a newt."

"Some girls say my tongue looks like a newt," he said, opening his mouth and wagging it at her.

Lily kicked him again.

"Lily, if you keep doing that, I'm going to need the Hospital Wing more than you do."

She changed the subject. "Enchanting brooms sounds too risky. I think I'll just try to walk." Using the wall as a brace, Lily stood up, pushing hard on the wall with both hands to reduce weight until she got her ankle into a standing position.

James watched her, amused. "There's no way you can walk on that ankle."

"Wanna bet?" she taunted, taking a step forward. But her ankle gave out, and she fell backwards.

Straight into James's arms, the author might add.

"How dare you touch me!" she shrieked, jumping out from his arms and glaring at him.

"I just saved your life! Blimey, girls make _no_ bloody sense..."

* * *

"Hello, Melanie," said Sirius, sauntering out into the hallway. 

"Where's Lily?" asked Melanie, ignoring the fact that her heart was racing at the sight of _him _and his _stupid_ muscles bulging through his _stupid _shirt and his _stupid_ hair falling all over his _stupid_ forehead with those _stupid _lips that were -Oh dear- meeting hers.

With the greatest surge of willpower she had ever felt, Melanie shoved Sirius off of her. "_You_," she spat, "cheated on me and slapped me!"

"Now Melanie baby-" Sirius started, a little worried when he saw her rolling up her sleeves and tying up her hair.

"Oh," she hissed, "don't call me 'baby', Sirius Black. In fact, you're going to be very lucky if you can even _have_ babies after I'm finished with you!"

Sirius gulped. "I'm alright with it as long as we actually test out the Sirius-can't-have-babies-anymore theory."

Melanie's wand flashed out of her pocket. "Do you see this stick?"

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you DARE tell me to fetch that stick, Melanie Greyloy! That only works when I'm in Amimagi-"

Sirius saw her questioning look and stopped mid-sentence. "Sorry, what were we talking about?"

Her eyes flashed. "Oh, but we weren't talking, you see. I was about to hex you into oblivion."

"Of course you were," he said, deciding to humor her. He saw the look of determination in her eyes and decided to prepare to defend himself, just in case. He reached inside of his pocket for his wand.

Which wasn't there.

He found a note instead, which he hastily opened and read.

_Padfoot-_

_I have borrowed your wand to use as a bookmark in my copy of "Hogwarts: A History" because you never use your wand outside of classes anyway. It's bad for the pages to dog-ear them, you know._

_Thanks,_

_Moony_

Sirius roared in frustration and then saw a great flash of light.

He heard Melanie cackling in triumph as the ground came roaring up to meet him.

* * *

The broom hovered shakily in front of them. 

"James," asked Lily nervously, "are we sure this is going to hold us?"

He could tell she was truly anxious because she had slipped up and called him by his first name. "Let's see," he said, swinging up on the broom.

The broom stayed in the air rather reluctantly. "Yeah," said James, "it'll hold."

"But I'm not on it yet!"

He eyed her, making her blush. "You don't weigh enough to make this broom fall out of the air."

Lily felt oddly flustered by the compliment and hastily replied, "Well, let's set off, then." She awkwardly stumbled over to the broom and swung her good leg over it, seating herself behind James.

"I enchanted this one for speed. You should probably hang on," he advised, though she knew that he just wanted her hands around his waist. **(A/N: I just typed 'waste'. That's awkward...)**

Kicking open the door with his foot, the broom darted out into the hall and was turning the corner when-

"Was that SIRIUS?" asked James incredulously. He turned sharply, which made Lily gasp and hold on tighter, and they circled back, where they indeed saw Sirius out cold with the mark of a hand on his face. "Oh great, what are we going to do with him?"

"Well," said Lily, "you could always flag down a teacher and-"

"Hey kid!" yelled James to a passing first year. "Wanna make a sickle?"

The first year nodded eagerly.

"Drag this bloke down to the hospital wing." He flicked a sickle over to the boy, who caught it easily. "No magic allowed! If you use magic to get him there, this sickle will-" he paused dramatically, "spill your darkest secret to the entire school."

The boy nodded fearfully, grabbed Sirius's hands, and started pulling.

After they had flown away, Lily pinched James's side, hard.

"OUCH!" he yelped. The broom swerved wildly, and for a second Lily regretted pinching him. "What was that for?"

"You shouldn't have charmed that sickle! That's almost black magic, James, and you of all people should-"

"I didn't charm that sickle! I just wanted him to develop upper arm strength! _Upper arm strength_, Lily! Did you see him catch that sickle? All he's lacking his arm strength, and he'll make us a great Chaser next year!"

"Guys and Quidditch..." sighed Lily.

* * *

Madame Pomfrey glared at everyone present. "Do you really expect me to believe that it is a mere coincidence that you are all here at the same time?" 

Sirius, Peter, Melanie, Remus, Lily, and James averted their eyes.

"Apparently you, Mr. Black, are here because you (she squinted at her clipboard) were Stunned?"

He nodded meekly.

"Then why is your entire body covered in bruises? Why, it looks like you were dragged through half of the school!"

James snorted, and Madame Pomfrey glared at him.

"Mr. Pettigrew, Polyjuice Potion is against the rules here at Hogwarts! Why on earth you would take it, and in such vast quantities..." She turned to face Peter Pettigrew, half boy and half sensuous blond.

Peter made no reply.

"And you, Ms. Greyloy! It says here that you were 'laughing so hard you ran into a wall'? Pray tell, what was so humorous that you decided to lose three teeth and fracture a skull over?"

"Well, Madame Pomfrey, I found out that the girl I saw Sirius kissing yesterday was in fact _him_ (she pointed to Peter) after he took the Polyjuice Potion. He paid Sirius to give him snogging lessons."

Madame Pomfrey blinked, revolted, before moving on with her assault of the room. "Mr. Lupin, my assistant wrote down that you were 'hexed over a bookmark'?"

Remus nodded with all three of his heads, miserable. "I'll ask next time, Sirius, I swear..."

Madame Pomfrey watched the heads in fascination for a moment before pressing onward. "Ms. Evans, I can understand your ankle, though I do wonder how you snapped it in three places... But I wonder if you also sustained injuries to your head! Why didn't you just flag down a teacher to walk you to the Hospital Wing instead of enchanting your own broom?"

"We were but- Then the- I didn't mean to- Oh, I don't know!" she wailed. "I wasn't thinking, Madame Pomfrey!"

"As I suspected. And _you_, Mr. Potter. Your injuries have the most peculiar story of all. My clipboard here reads: 'Mr. Potter says he was too engrossed in snogging and forgot to steer the enchanted broom, which then crashed into the statue of Harry the Hidden, causing the breaking of six of his ribs'."

James grinned sheepishly.

"And what have you learned from this experience, Mr. Potter?"

"Well," he said thoughtfully. "Harry's a great name for a kid, you know."

"DETENTION, ALL OF YOU! And Anne?" she asked of her assistant. "Make sure that Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans do not have beds near each other... If there is going to be a child named Harry in this Hospital Wing, we don't want it to happen anytime soon."

* * *

**A/N: I confess, that chapter was by far my favorite to write... Was it your favorite to read, by any chance? -wonders if her enjoyment is in any way related to yours-**

**I also rather like Melanie... It makes me laugh that the first original character I write in here is exactly like me. Expect to see her again in later chapters...**

**Thanks for all of the reviews!**


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